Avoiding and pretending are skills picked up over the years; for some it's an art. Both are resourceful techniques for overlooking matters you don't want to deal with. They allow you to believe you're okay when you're not. Avoidance rears its head in many forms. Excessive exercise, under or overeating, drinking too much, taking drugs, cutting, being a workaholic, addictive sex, gambling and overspending are examples. These are diversions used to anesthetize so you don't feel what desperately needs to be felt, ways to fill the void left from ignoring what's going on inside. "The longest journey you will ever take is the eighteen inches from your head to your heart."

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| Next Exit Misery | Rules and Regulations Sign | Never Be Selfish | Avoid and Pretend | Live in Fear | Lie to Yourself and Others |
| React and Become Defensive | Rationalize, Analyze and Stuff | One Finger Out | Manipulate and Have Motives | Swim in Guilt |
| Anger, Resentment, Blame | Worry | Don't Risk | Surrender to Helplessness | Had Enough Misery? |
| Leaving Misery Behind | Selfishness, a Capital "S" | Stop Avoiding and Pretending | Face Fear | What's Wrong with Lying |
| Defensiveness | Rationalizing, Analyzing and Stuffings | Point One Finger Out | Quit Manipulating |
| Give Up Guilt | Releasing Anger, Resentment, and Blame | Put an End to Worry | Risking | Conclusion - Rutgar's Revenge |
| Site Map | Home Page |